And no. I’m not talking about my husband this time. I’m talking about an actual Antoinette Perry award won at this years Tonys.
We’ll get to that later.
I started the day with a GREAT audition! It’s always my goal to be at peace with myself before going in the room…honing a real strategy to find that peace among all the chatter and all the differing energy levels that bounce off you while you wait–not to mention avoiding comparing yourself to all the others that surround you is quite the mission and is what I’ve been working on. Today , success! More, please!
The call was for “Book of Mormon”. It’s Equity’s required 6 month call…for those this may be new to, this is really an opportunity to be seen for future work. The show’s cast is solidly in place at the moment, so this is a chance for the casting folk to see who else is out there, and to add to their replacement files.
I was number 30 of 40…I went into the room and met the the cute, hipster accompanist. After giving him my music and tempo, I went to the center of the room, introduced myself to the 2 other cute people behind the table, told them what I’d be singing, gave the nod to the accompanist and off I went. I felt great-the acoustics in the room were amazing, and it made the song really kick! The song I chose has a fake ending…when I got there, the casting folks both starting speaking, saying, “You sound great! Tha…” that’s when I cut them off and started singing again and they both jumped back in their seats! When I finished 5 seconds later, we all lost it and started laughing! It was a great way to leave the room! They thanked me for coming in, I told the accompanist he was genius (he was) and I left.
When I got outside the door, the woman going in next looked at me and said, “I have to follow that?” We both laughed (I felt like an idiot because I couldn’t come up with a cool/supportive reply) and I went to a chair a few feet away to change back into my walking shoes. I was sitting and undoing the strap on my heels, when a purple Croc slammed down next to my feet. I looked up, and there was a woman there…she had thrown her shoe down at me! Can you believe it? She said, “Unh unh. You better SING! I was in a conversation with 4 other people over there, and we all stopped talking when you started! What’s your name? Gimme a hug!” How sweet and generous is she? I felt really great walking out of there.
No matter what happens, it’s so reassuring to know that I CAN do this. I can be in this arena and know that I have something of value to offer. Even when I don’t get the gig. I want to connect with people and listen and hear and speak and be heard. To be a part of something powerful that moves me and challenges me, to be a conduit for joy. Those thoughts that try to chip away at your confidence…you know the ones, “Can I do this? Do I have it? Did I lose it? Did I ever have it?” BANISH THEM!!! They only have power if you let them.
Now…the Tony! After my audition, I went to visit a friend of mine that I’ve known since my first professional show in LA. He’s a fantastic guy who was the producer of a great 99 seat theatre in Burbank that I had the pleasure of performing in back in the day. He has moved on up, y’all. He’s still producing, but now he has the corner office with the ceiling to floor windows that look out on Times Square. When he was showing me around the new digs (encompassing the entire 10th floor), he also showed me the Tony award he and his partner received for The Normal Heart this year. I pretty much physically assaulted that thing. Amazing. I’ve finally held one in my hands!
You know, I wouldn’t mind doing that again.