Door to door…

I gotta be honest here…that’s the whole point of this.  I’m sitting in a Starbucks at 6th and 57th, and the plan is to write about the job I started a week and a half ago.

I’ll  admit to not wanting to do this, and to feeling more exposed than is comfortable for me.

Here goes:

The job I started a week and a half ago ended up being more than a little shady, and I left it yesterday to pursue other employment. I began the job because I needed to actively DO SOMETHING.  I needed to feel like I was contributing to the life my husband and I are building here in a tangible way, especially because auditions have slowed down and I was starting to feel a bit “less than.”  I found this job on Craigslist, went in and interviewed and was trained in 2 days to go door to door in New York neighborhoods to get people to switch their energy supplier from ConEd to a different ESCO—energy service company.

Long story short, if you’re out there, and you aren’t making the kind of sales the management feels you should be making, they ask you for a retainer to be returned when you begin making sales.  That was my cue to leave, and I did.

Even though I know the only choice I had was to leave that job, I am fighting the feeling that I didn’t stick it out and make it work.  I will continue to move forward, and I will shake this, but that’s what I’m feeling right now.

I know this isn’t an upbeat post, but I needed to put it out there.  I need to live this life fully. And I know that sometimes means battling through moments like this one.

I need to honor myself, honor my relationships, give the best of myself to all my endeavors. I know that there will be challenges along the way, and I just experienced a big one last week.  I’m out of pithy sayings at the moment, but I will say this out loud and stand by it no matter what:

I. WILL. NOT. GIVE. UP.

 

R

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2 responses to “Door to door…

  1. Whenever you feel/ write that you’re having doubts about ‘being ‘less than”, please keep in mind that you started a very interesting Blog!!! Most people, myself included, would be quite intimidated to try something like this, and would never get to ‘first base’ with it. You however, JUST DID IT!!
    Congratulations!!! Now, I look forward to following your trials, tribulations, and triumphs! You GO Girl!!
    xoxo
    Tim

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